Sleeping Pills

Thinking too much about what never was
because of God, sex, and Santa Claus,
like a horse we beat
that doesn’t seem to die.
I need you like sleeping pills.
You’ll never know how your romance kills.

It was only in the morning light
when I saw the lines on your face.
Now I piss you off with feisty texts
because I know how your face will wince.
Didn’t know if your eyes were really blue;
I guess I never really knew you.
Should’ve known it doesn’t take the light
to show you’re just not right for me.

But I need you like those sleeping pills.
Never do I sleep a wink without wishing,
without hoping,
that the dust will fade.
You said maybe there’s a reason for this pain,
which doesn’t explain
why I’m loving cigarettes again—
a stench so strong, I needn’t help
finding grace of my own.